POST BREAK-UP SELF-CARE

I have recently gone through a break-up and want to share some of my tips that have helped me.

Heartbreak is painful no matter how tough we are. But how we deal with it is important. Also no break-up is the same. It depends why a relationship has ended. If people grow apart and it is an amicable goodbye, it might feel easier than escaping an abusive toxic coupling up. The healing time will also differ but a great self-care routine applies to all.

Firstly accept that it is ok not to be ok. There is no shame in crying, eating crappy food and watching movies on repeat. As long as you don’t stay in this phase for too long. All the crying and sleepless nights can wreck havoc with our immune system and hormones. When we are stressed, cortisol levels shoot up and this contributes to break outs. Combined with junk food and alcohol, your skin will not reward you with a glow. I don’t drink alcohol and gluten free diet keeps me in my lane so I didn’t go too crazy eating carrots. I got too friendly with sandwiches instead. Carbs are life.

So what has helped me?

Talking to friends and spending time with them, no matter how shitty I felt. Granted, the first few days I became glued to my sofa and barely ate anything. I also couldn’t sleep or focus. But texting and actually speaking with my closest friends made a huge difference. If you got a therapist, call them too. It is not fair to keep off loading to friends as they got their own crappola to deal with. But also setting boundaries with some people is essential. I don’t want to broadcast intimate details to everyone and anyone asking (as much as they might be meaning well it can act as a trigger).

I broke up with my ex but I didn’t run to my social media to vent. No matter how things end, it is never a smart idea. Your co-workers will think you have lost your mind (you might have but keep that for your closest buds) and your ex might get a (sick, twisted) satisfaction. Block that number, delete those photos. No second or third chances; know your self-worth. Why be with someone who doesn’t appreciate or see your value the first time round?

Please remember, leaving an unhealthy relationship is an act of self-love.

I have taken up Hatha Yoga in my local town of Westgate-on-Sea and go twice a week. The practice helps me physically, mentally and our little group of yogis is a joy to be around. My teacher is also a ray of sunshine and didn’t judge me for crying through few sessions!

Going for a workout is an achievement to be celebrated. So is walking. I walk 1-2 hours per day as I am lucky to be living by the beach. I eat clean and my gluten free diet is full of fruit, veggies and nuts and seeds. I now got the best toned bum I have had in years and my tummy is getting firm. Getting fitter, hotter but mainly healthy has become my mantra. I am also investing in myself with joining inspirational online Ted talks and seminars and reading empowering books. Another investment is my silk pillow case (no more crease marks or bedhead), sleep mist, CBD oil, candles, incense sticks, vitamin supplements and healthy food to nourish my body and soul. Vitamin D has been fab for mood-lifting.

Self-love is the most important love you will ever have.

Listening to podcasts has also been great. I like My Therapist Ghosted Me. Visiting new places and creating new memories is a must. Look forward not backwards. So my friend and I finally made it to the Shell Grotto in Margate despite feeling sleep-deprived and crummy. All a gal needs is a 4.6 million shells and a handful of brill mates!

I didn’t feel at peace in my home after the break-up. I decluttered and threw away anything that was associated with my ex. I moved furniture around, decluttered, got more green plants and lovely smelling candles. I burned sage for more positive vibes. New bed linen is always a good idea. Claim your space and make it a happy one again. And have plenty of delicious orgasms. If possible, get a new sex toy that your ex hasn’t used with you before. I got my cute pink Womanizer Premium Eco. Fresh start is a blessing. So are multiple orgasms.

To help me drift off, break-up or not, I listen to progressive muscle relaxation and take a warm bath adding Olverum Bath Oil. This is a heavenly mixture of 10 essential oils – Rosemary, Lavender, Verbena, Juniper, Geranium, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel Oil and more. What a star line up to grace my tub. This delicate formula is perfectly blended to deliver harmony to senses and to slow down that tired brain. As Sylvia Plath wrote, the water really is the best way to purge feelings. Add this dreamy bath oil to make your own poetry.

Olverum Bath Oil turns water into liquid silk; my skin adores feeling supple and hydrated yet not greasy. Each soak is a pampering session. The 125ml luxurious glass bottle will keep you company for 25 baths. This is 25 soaks in The Heartbreak Spa by which time you will be feeling on top of the world.

My bath time is followed by a cup of hot cocoa with plant milk. I am talking raw cacao and not some sugary imposter. It is like a miracle for emotional and physical wellbeing. And bloody delicious.

I then spray my pillow with Olverum sleep mist and apply Kiki Health Magnesium Oil on my wrists. Most of us are deficient so this oil will help with fatique. Magnesium also has calming effect which helps me with falling asleep. The bottle of this will last for months.

I am wishing you all the best on your heartbreak recovery. That feeling of waking up one day and feeling happy and like yourself is the best feeling in the world. I want that for you.

Another thought – being single is like being rich.

Happy healing!

Petra x

MY SEMI-PERMANENT BROW JOURNEY

I have always envied the likes of Cara Delevigne for her beautiful thick brows. I have been filling in mine with pencils, powders and gels for years. Basically my eyebrows have been a total work of fiction.

After a careful consideration and a thorough research, I have received a consult and a patch test by Jessica Abbott. I was afraid of scarring or a botched permanent tattoo. This is why choosing Jessica was so important to me as she has 15 years of experience. She also trains future artists which is a testament in itself.

There are different types of brows you can choose – Powder, Invisi, Hair Stroke or a Combined. Together we decided on combining above techniques (Combined) to achieve natural yet visible results.

Does it hurt?

The area is thoroughly numbed with a cream (no injections or anything scary) and the treatment feels more tickly than anything else. I could barely feel the first pass. On the second pass the skin is little bit more sensitive so I felt it tiny bit but not painful I promise.

Jessica is highly skilled but also heaps of fun. I love her bubbly personality and positive outlook on life. This is why you must check out her Instagram – Jessica posts before and after photos of her clients as well as documenting fun with her staff.

How long before brows are healed?

Everyone is different but it took me about 10 days. The skin feels a bit dry and tight and then it starts to peel off to reveal the desired colour. At first the colour appears 50% darker (on my way home I thought what the heck did I just do to myself). With the grand reveal I could see it was all worth it! A top up follows roughly 6-12 weeks later just to see if anything needs tweaking.

How long does it last?

This depends on your lifestyle – sun exposure, age etc..I expect mine to stay for about 2 years.

How much does it cost?

The price list and other treatments are here

This is the talented and very lovely Jessica Abbott.

To join her waiting list for her gorgeous Kent clinic (near Canterbury) :

07889 628 359

INFUSED AMPHORA 6000mg CBD OIL DROPS TO INSPIRE AND SOOTHE

The market is saturated with CBD products, but it is quality I go for. If a CBD oil is suspiciously cheap, it means the strength will be well, weakness. You will be paying for a diluted product which will leave you unsatisfied.

Why CBD?

CBD ranges from potential benefits for treating chronic illness to supplementing general health and well-being. In my opinion it is excellent for fibromyalgia, insomnia and anxiety.

I am a keen CBD user (nope, it doesn’t get me high) and have tried oral drops, body balms, sexual wellness creams, bath salts, vape etc…I got several go-to brands on my roster and Infused Amphora is one of them.

I have finally got my mitts on their High Strength CBD Oil Drops – they come in 4 variations at 30ml. Mine is called Inspire to help me boost creativity (my next book isn’t going to pen itself) and to relax me. This potent citrusy yet earthy flavoured formula contains 6000mg of CBD (yes, honey!).

Infused Amphora’s 6000mg High Strength CBD Oil Drops are seriously potent for ultimate effectiveness! Each full dropper contains 200mg of pure CBD extract, plant-based terpenes and MCT oil to help you meet your wellness goals quickly and conveniently.

It is also made of 100% organically grown hemp. Quality over quantity always.

Get yours here £99.99

WE-VIBE – MELT(S) MY CLIT AND HEART

Let me introduce you to my new bedroom addition, Melt by WeVibe. This slick blue toy arrived in a classy white satin bag accompanied by a lubricant sample and a white magnetic charger that simply plugs into my laptop. Rechargable is my mantra.

The toy’s silicone surface is soft to touch and the shape is dynamic which makes it easy to hold (and my hands are tiny). The suction tip is also great to use for nipple stimulation and for teasing the penis head. Melt is the perfect company if you want to play. It comes with a Bluetooth app so your partner can control it from distance. But let’s focus on solo action here.

The Melt isn’t a classic vibrator with bells and whistles; this is a sophisticated technological marvel delivering signature Womanizer’s Pleasure Air Technology. The sensation is pulsating waves and gentle suction that feels like unlike anything else (that another human cannot give you). This five star rated gadget is a safe bet to serve you an orgasm on demand. With 12 speeds (yes, 12!) this is a cert winner that will never disappoint. The lowest setting is also super discreetly quiet (but you might not be).

Did I mention this blue babe is waterproof and guilt free? Treat your clitoris to Melt, you will have zero regrets but plenty intense orgasms.

Get your own here £119

In2Mate Natural Lubricant

There are so many lubricants on the market, but they are not all equal. Once I started reading the labels and paying attention to the ingredients, I was shocked just how many contain silicone, perfumes, Phenoxyethanol, Petroleum and Chlorhexidine. Most of these cause irritation and can be toxic to the delicate vaginal tissue.

I have been using In2Mate Natural Lubricant to ease the friction in the bedroom and add more slippery fun. This cute pink and white bottle contains 75ml of pH optimised, prebiotic and rejuvenating actives. It is un-fragranced and super gentle.

I don’t struggle with dryness (lucky me) but I like adding a lubricant into the mix. Only clean beauty will make the cut onto my nightstand.

What makes In2Mate special? The formula contains Levan, a natural plant fructose that protects plants against damage from frost and drought by locking in moisture. It protects the skin in the same way, plus it adds smoother more slippery feel.

The other bonus is that this rejuvenating lubricant looks after healthy bacterial balance. It is no wonder it has been receiving stellar 5 star reviews. It is also vegan and cruelty-free.

In2Mate Natural Lubricant is a high performer, 99% natural and only costs £6.50. What a good find.

MY VANITY TABLE

I love vanity tables. There is something so feminine and personal about them – the perfumes we choose to wear and trinkets to display. Mine is a combination of family photographs, fragrances, make-up, jewellery, the odd crystal, lingerie, cinema tickets and few sentimental things.

My vintage chest of drawers is from Ebay and the mirror is from my local charity shop (when it comes to an upgrade, I will go for a huge Hollywood mirror with millions of bulbs). The boudoir stool is from George at Asda and I love that it has a storage for my hair styling tools and sex toys. It is surprisingly sturdy, comfortable and looks super cute.

I also adore my SAY SOMETHING IN FRENCH trinket dish from Hotel Magique for Anthropologie – £ 12. But my favourites are my family photographs – a wedding photo of my grandparents, a photo booth snap of my brother and a photographic evidence that my mother was (is) a hot and effortlessly stylish babe. The white angel candle was a gift from her (because I am such an angel -not).

I am renting a cute little flat in the coastal Westgate-on-Sea after turning my back on London. Since it is a rental, I can’t really paint or change anything. I decided to jazz up my plain walls with a tinsel curtain aka party wall. This is self-adhesive and takes a minute to put up. It certainly kissed a lot of glam into my bedroom.

I am into pearls, hoop earrings and statement rings. I do love obnoxious trophy earrings though (sorry, earlobes). The clear sparkly necklace hung over the mirror frame belonged to my maternal granny. I often wear it stacked up on my wrist as a layered bracelet.

..and the glow up post tinsel wall. Get yours here

To cover the nasty office-feel grey carpet, I have invested into super soft plush boho style rug. And when the days are not-so-sunny, I got a tripod ring light. It is super handy for shooting content and gives that perky skin glow. And of course, I had to add some green plants. They are an affordable way how to add a touch of nature into any living space. I also got a lovely selection of candles, but they now live in the sitting room and near my bathtub. I will also share my favourite fragrances with you soon and my lingerie drawer (I am a *little bit* obsessed with pretty smalls!).

I am still on a hunt for the perfect curtains but for now I am enjoying my sea views like an unlimited food buffet. What a starved Londoner after living in a damp basement in Angel & Islington!

Petra xoxo

VELLA WOMEN’S PLEASURE SERUM

I display Vella Women’s Pleasure Serum on my nightstand proudly; the dark pink packaging with transparent lid is luxe, and the product inside *literally* makes me happy on the inside. So how does it work?

Twenty minutes prior solo play or sex with my partner, I apply three pumps of this CBD goodness onto my inner labia and clitoris. There is no tingling or burning sensation as you might expect with traditional products available on the market; The sensation is more of a warm relaxed feeling.

The 320mg CBD nano-encapsulated molecule is pure and active, which allows the dosing to be deep and exacting. When I say deep, the CBD is delivered into the tissues where it works to relax the smooth muscle. This stimulates arousal, followed by deeper and more satisfying orgasm.

Vella caters for every vagina and clitoris at any age or life stage. The vegan and paraben free formula assists with lubrication which makes it a lubricant and an arousal serum in one.

The complexity of female orgasm can be challenging and there is often a pressure to perform instead of enjoyment. For me, this product makes me feel in mood even when my body and brain tell me otherwise. Vella Pleasure Serum makes coming possible and amplifies every orgasm. The world would be a better place if we all had orgasms, and I truly believe having them is a part of our full body health and a major part in self-care.

“Vella Women’s Pleasure Serum is an orgasm in a bottle”

16 uses $65

Try it here vellabio.com

Instagram @vellabioscience   #ComeWithVella

OLVERUM BODY POLISH

I am a loyal devotee to body scrubs, but I had no idea one could be this special. And it is not ‘just a scrub’ – this is an Olverum Body Polish. And I like Olverum products just like I like starting my sentences with an and.

This seductive newcomer quickly cast all my gritty oily scrubs aside. The luxe glass jar contains the best mixture of papaya enzyme, hydroclay and essential oils. I have used exfoliating papaya-based face masks in the past but never knew just how good a Fermented Papaya Enzyme would treat the skin on my body.

The dead dry skin cells get broken down without any harsh scrubbing. It feels like a relaxing massage. Even the delicate skin on my chest loves this which has been essential at removing sunscreen build up and other deep-set impurities. This is where Hydroclay comes to play. Paired up with Bamboo and Pumice, it means business but leaves skin satin soft. No oily residue or grease. Give me more, please.

I must tell you just how good this body polish smells. The Olverum alchemists had me at Bergamot and Ylang Ylang, but really got me hooked on the Grapefruit, Geranium and Rosemary spa-like aroma. I don’t even need a body lotion after this, and I love the subtle scent it kisses my skin with.

I also love knowing that I can recycle this glass pot (although I am keeping mine for storing hair grips). Olverum Body Polish is vegan and cruelty-free, free from artificial preservatives, fragrance and colourants, Silicone, Mineral Oil, Petrolatum, Sulphates, Phthalates, Parabens, Triclosan and animal derived ingredients.

Olverum Body Polish is part of my self-care ritual. I find the smell extremely comforting; my skin is buffed and shined yet soothed. If Olverum made scented cashmere shawls, this would be it.

Olverum Body Polish £38

INTERVIEW WITH BULBUL HOODA OF VELLA WOMEN’S PLEASURE SERUM

Bulbul Hooda – The Brand Creator & Chief Marketing Officer at Vella

You have such an impressive 15-year experience building and growing award-winning brands for the likes of L’Oreal. What attracted you to Vella? 

After spending all this time at big beauty and CPG conglomerates, I was ready to take the next step in my career. Something that can keep me up at night. Vella was exactly that.

We are witnessing a sexual wellness boom, stemming from the convergence of beauty and wellness. Today, self-care has naturally extended beyond beauty and found an anchor in health, fitness and sexual wellness. It was intuitive for Vella to be positioned at the intersection of science and prestige beauty as a women-first, digitally native prestige beauty brand. What differentiates Vella from the other players is that we have a scientific breakthrough powering our product. That is every marketer’s dream come true.

What makes Vella different from the other female sexual wellness and arousal products on the market?

My top three would be:

1) Our research-based, clinical test backed discipline resulting in our proprietary nano-encapsulated CBD technology.

2) The target audience panning the entire spectrum of women at any age or life stage.

3)  Vella’s sophisticated branding that differentiates and elevates our proposition.


Please tell me your inspiration behind the choice of packaging and branding.

We spent a lot of time articulating the visual and verbal identity for Vella. It was critical to have provocative, straightforward imagery in order to normalize the conversation around female pleasure. We wanted to call it what it is. The balance between sophisticated beauty codes and finding the right packaging for precise dosing was most interesting. Likewise, we took our time to find our voice – relatable, informative but also always fun. Ultimately, it is pleasure that is our main proposition, and we aim to please in all aspects 🙂 

Which retailers will be stocking Vella in the UK and the USA?

We have already launched at Shen Beauty, Nordstrom, Cos Bar and Lemon Laine in the US, and some big news is around the corner on strategic retail partnerships during the summer. We are in talks with a few partners in the UK as well, stay tuned until we finalize those. 

What does your average work day at Vella looks like?

We are a lean and agile team, and we work remotely, which makes communicating at all times crucial. From setting up a company and bringing a brand to life in under 12 months was no easy feat. And we were also in parallel in the midst of our Seed II funding round (We have since raised $7MM). Let’s say, things tend to get a bit busy. 

Do you have any career advice for anyone looking to follow in your steps?

This is easier said than done but try to prepare a roadmap and set your career milestones. And of course, be flexible as sometimes things don’t stay on plan, but if you don’t know where you are going, you are sure to get lost.

PREMIUM ECO-THE ONLY WOMANIZER I WILL EVER ALLOW INTO MY BED

As an eco-conscious Aquarius lady, I knew I had to get my manicured mitts on Womanizer’s latest Premium Eco toy. It arrived in a fully recyclable packaging and an environment friendly charging cord. It is pink, lightweight, made of Biolene instead of plastic (mainly corn starch) and it has a rechargeable battery. No batteries or money goes to waste here.

The toy only starts working upon touch with skin; this is awesome if you fall asleep after your amazing orgasm or forget to switch it off. It makes it safe to carry in your handbag. No badly-timed buzzing here.

Let’s fast forward to the juicy bits (pun intended). This smooth operator purrs in 12 speeds from gentle to a rocket-launching-into- space-powerful. But as Bjork once sang – OH. SO. QUIET. But you will not be, guaranteed. The smart air pulsation technology equals clit-whisperer cult status and serves up delicious orgasms on demand. Yes, oh yes it does. And the battery life is as never-ending as your (and my) pleasure. Just don’t involve it in your bath-time routine. Womanizer Premium Eco is splash-proof but prefers drier surroundings whilst making you wet.

When the time comes to break up with my worn-out toy, I know it comes apart to make recycling easy. Who knew orgasms could be green?

I can safely say that this is the only Womanizer I will ever let into my bed.

Get yours here £169

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